My "I'm Bored, Let's Try to Figure Out Sports" Rant

First off, let me say this: I don’t really follow sports. I understand football in the slightest, and my favorite team in the Pittsburgh Steelers. Why football? I can easily understand, “Hey they got a touch-down!”

In all honesty, all I know is a flag of any sort in a sport is a bad thing if it’s against your team, and potentially a good thing if it’s against theirs.

I don’t know what a home run, single, double or triple look like. Where and what makes a foul? How does a man with 4 balls walk? Hahaha.

Now, knowing that I suck at understanding any form of sports made for a higher intelligence than a rock lobster… Let’s review what I was trying to do last Friday.

0830, getting bored, Google St. Louis Cardinals. Result o.0; what the hell is a ‘.500 mark?’

Around 1000 I text my boyfriend and think maybe I can get some help:

            Me: Hey, so can you explain this to me?

            Him: Baseball is the easiest sport to understand…

            Me: So, is that a figure it out…?

            Him: -haven’t heard anything back…-

1230 I decide okay, let’s just Google who the Cards are gonna play against… Los Angeles Dodgers…okay, alright, I got this. Pull up news on the Dodgers…Whoa now, a Dodgers fan beat and severely injured a San Francisco fan just because they got in an argument over the teams.

1233 and 30 seconds…dawning realization hits me; my boyfriend is going to that game in LA today…OMFG panic. To my complete retardation, I continue Googling these fucking Dodgers, and I have been finding more I don’t like.

Side note: WHO THE HELL GETS THAT WORKED UP OVER A TEAM!?!?!?!?!       I mean, my boyfriend is a goddamn Packers fan! Steelers lost to them for Super Bowl this year…do I beat him up or argue with him about it? No. Yes, I stand by my team through thick and thin, but honestly.

1338 Why did I just change my desktop background to the Cardinals logo…?

1514 I’ve decided that he’s a Marine, oh and an MP at that, so if someone decides to fuck with him, they will regret it. SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION BITCHES.

So I don’t know, maybe just being a female has got to do with the whole not understanding sports thing. I don’t know maybe I can miraculously learn this sport before the game starts and I have to magically understand everything he tells me.